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Special edition: World Cup Final observations from someone highly Football ignorant:

  • Overhead in the post office earlier: 'I hate the French on principle, but I can't root for Argentina because of the Falklands'
  • Argentina have a great anthem. My knowledge of anthems comes from Formula One, so it's extremely limited
  • Are Argentina the most inked team?
  • I think Messi is the greatest of all time, but only because Piers Morgan thinks it's Ronaldo
  • Surely a spot-kick for a penalty is too easy? I'd rather see it done as it is in Ice Hockey; one on one, from the half-way line
  • The commentator, whose name I don't know, just said 'DO cry for me, Argentina' which has made this worth watching
  • Something may have happened in the last 10 minutes but I stopped paying attention
  • Why do the pundits wear suits for the final? Rio Ferdinand looks like he's borrowed his for a funeral
  • There are a lot of empty seats in the stadium. Much like cycling events in the middle east, it's more about a TV audience and promoting tourism than actually hosting the sport
  • A near constant for the last few weeks has been my neighbour screaming at his TV, and tonight is no exception
  • Someone give the commentary team some Red Bull
  • With the amount of agony felled players seem to be in, I'm surprised we don't see more deaths
  • I have headed a football played at pace just once, and it fucking hurts. I also couldn't use my left foot, so my very short time playing football was never going to go anywhere
  • When did 'set piece' become a term? When I loved football, Gazza still played for Tottenham so it's probably been decades
  • The Gold and Royal Blue of France looks great, but the crest on the Argentina kit is beautiful
  • An Argentine named 'Mac Allister' and a Frenchman named 'Hernandez' shows that a surname is pretty useless for guessing where someone is from
  • I'm quite bored of this now
  • Galaxy brain commentator telling us that this is the highest attendance since 1994 because it's the largest stadium since then
  • Goal! And another!
  • Seeing Emmanuel Macron in attendance makes me almost wish we'd had the opportunity to see Liz Truss trying to act like she knew what the fuck was going on
  • There are currently three players on the ground looking as if they need a defibrillator
  • I think the French goalkeeper is telepathic
  • Considering how watch enthusiasts feel about Hublot, it makes sense that they sponsor the substitution board in a middle-eastern world cup
  • Is it possible to admire how impressive this stadium is while also being disgusted at how it was built and funded?
  • I'm absolutely torn on VAR being an essential tool for fair play and a device for sucking any soul out of tight situations
  • A penalty to decide that there will be more penalties says it all
  • I'm beginning to wonder if I should have gone to a restaurant and taken advantage of it being quiet
  • The decider for a weeks-long tournament coming down to penalties is a bit weak. But, the way Messi plays them is just absurd
  • The audacity of the BBC iPlayer app asking me if I am still watching. For the first time, I'm actually not sure

Well, that was eventful. Maybe I'll do this again in 4 years.