Sunk cost fallacy, maybe? But not quite that. Knowing that something is going to go to shit, but holding on to it anyway in the misguided hope that things will work out.
If something is making you routinely miserable and anxious but features occasional highs and just enough reasons to keep going you need to hold on to those low feeling and have the self respect to call it a day.
Or. Make a little more effort and make things how you want them to be?
A bellcurve can be mapped to all sorts of things. I think about complexity in code most often and how beginners just make things simple, intermediate people start to over complicate and use all the tools, and then experts simplify again.
My photography started with a £30 Holga camera whose charm came from being deliberately low-fidelity. If you can't focus, if you can't set the exposure, if you can't even see through the viewfinder, then you're probably not going miss the shot.
I might be in the middle now. High quality photos, making things as sharp as possible, looking for that perfect bokeh and exposure.
How long until the Leica is on the shelf and I'm holding the Holga again?
Problems can't be outrun. The problem with travel-as-therapy is that when you get to where you're going, you're there.
Is a feeling of discomfort from not having any flights booked the ultimate first world problem? If money were no object I would travel endlessly; I wonder how long it would take for me to feel as if I need to be in one place? And what place would I choose?
Star Wars, Lord of the Rings. Epics considered essential viewing that leave me cold. Game of Thrones was the same; the moment a dragon showed up I was checking out.
I've seen both Dune movies (the recent ones, not the camp Lynch adaptation featuring a oiled Sting) and I found them kind of dull, kind of silly, and very long. The inevitable third instalment is still going to be a tough choice: go, and complete the trilogy, or skip it and never think about it again.
I never used to feel as if work is a waste of life-time. Where so much time and effort goes into a job and making someone else's (an individual or a board) ideas and dreams a reality.
This is how it works. Those people who seem to be endlessly travelling are both very much to be in that position but they're also only sharing the highlight reels while we are forced to see the behind-the-scenes in every detail.
Why the fuck am I at the airport 4 hours early? My gate has the flight before mine waiting to board people. That's a special kind of much-too-early.