Repeat the below most days for 6 months to get very sad:

  • Wake up as late as possible before your first obligation. Nothing to do? Sleep until noon
  • Treat anything that requires any kind of effort as a huge burden and put it off for as long as possible
  • Don't bother planning your days; just let them happen
  • Eat for ease, convenience, and taste over nutrition and balance
  • Avoid socialising
  • Worry about what others think of you
  • Always long for the next, new thing while never appreciating what you have
  • Spend money for a quick happiness spike
  • Exercise once in a while, but half-ass it
  • Berate yourself for all of these behaviours, and speak to yourself in a way that you'd never speak to anyone else

Please buy my self-help book.