This happens every few months. I have an undeniable urge to make something. Something creative or something that means something (to me, not in a wider sense; no one else really cares). I watch creators (I hate that term) on YouTube who make videos that make me feel something. It's in my chest. Like a growing feeling of needing to make something. In that moment I want to make films but I lack ideas and equipment and an ability to hear my own voice without wanting to erase every conversation I've ever had.
I never, ever know what it is I want to make. This daily writing is not it, though it has been a few times in the past. I'll have a run of longer posts that aren't just entirely empty and vapid and it scratches the itch and deflates the chest-feeling slightly. But it's not it. Definitely not now. This is a fucking burden at the moment, especially in the post-travel bump back to work/whatever.
I'm not short of ideas and half-started code-based projects to finish, but while the cobbler's children have no shoes, the software engineer's side projects must remain unfinished. What a cliché. What an idiot.