278

I realised today, while pondering yet again the purpose of a mystery section of 40 mph on another smart motorway (seriously, I will never stop being bothered by this), that I spent the entirety of my 30s trying to relationships work.

At 30, while engaged, a two year relationship came to an end. A year or so later I got into another relationship that came to end after around 4 years, which was probably a couple of years later than it should have. A brief 4 month coupling which I regret losing. Then a great 2 year relationship, despite the covid lockdowns, but came to an end when I was 39. It hit me hard, but deep down I always knew it was destined to fail.

If my 30s were all about me trying to combine my life with someone else's, maybe my 40s should be focussed on definitely not doing that. I'm not sure I have it in me to place that much trust in another person again anyway.