I wasn't satisfied with who I was then, and I'm even further away from that now. And maybe I spent such a long time being dissatisfied with myself then that I didn't realise what I had.
Maybe I need to recognise what I have now and build on that, rather than writing bullshit about how good things were before and not recognising that at the time.
Maybe I should shut the fuck. Do the thing. Talk to the person. Make improvements.